Recently we all celebrated the fathers in our lives, Fathers Day. Fathers were put into our lives for a reason, to love, protect and provide for their families and Fathers are suppose to be their daughters first love and a son's first hero.
Thank God for all the awesome fathers out there who don't take their responsibilities lightly. I am grateful for all the opportunities that I had growing up, never lacked anything, always had more than enough. However I always wished and longed for something more emotional with my father. He was not the soppy lovey dovey kind of dad.
My Dad never left, he was present but mostly in an absent kind of way. He was presently absent. He worked hard, he is a hard worker. Some holidays when I came home from boarding school and res he would be gone or would be going on a work trip. As a child I felt that he was always travelling and that made him presently absent.
My dad did alot of things right, sending us to school and giving us the best education that he possible could, he was present in may kind of ways but also absent in alot of other ways. I learnt watching him that a fathers job in the house is to provide for his family and educate his kids. Now while I don't disagree with that thought and I am so grateful for that oppourtunity because many do not have that same opportunity, I however missed out on the other aspects of a fathers role in a family, a father spending time with his kids, taking them out for ice-cream, simple father and child time.
I was never "Daddy's Little Girl". My Dad always assumed his role as the "FATHER" and that put me in line as the child therefore those 2 barriers just could never be crossed. Growing up I had a desire to have that, I never experienced that closeness that some people have with their dads, while on the other hand I was also very grateful to just have a father because I saw the emptiness that people often feel when fathers are absent and the destruction that it can even cause in the life of their kids. The devil comes to steal, to kill and to destroy and it is only god who can bring restoration into our lives.
Fathers need to realise the crippling effect that not being around as on their kids, absent fathers is one of the largest if not largest social issue of our time.The facts surrounding the impact of a fathers absence tell a story. While it is easy to focus on the increased rates of addiction, depression, crime, poverty, abuse and alike associated with those who have grown up in a fatherless environment these are only symptoms Fathers presence are needed in homes today and Fathers should make a concious decision to be present in their kids lives and families.
While its not about bashing fathers because blame and guilt doesnt fix things, the kind of family that you were brought up in, the kind of Dad you have or had, absent or present or even presently absent does not define who you are today, only God defines who you are. You get to write your future, your story and although you cannot change your past, you can leave it in the past and look to the future.
Let's not make the kind of father you have or had define who you become. Alot of woman suffer from the "Absent Father" syndrome but having an "absent father" or a "presently absent" father does not mean that you have to act in a certain way or make bad choices. Your father as lived or is living his life and he made his decisions weather or not it was for your good. All you can do is move forward and write your own future with God the Author and Finisher of our Faith.
I pray that God will teach all Fathers and Future Fathers how to love their kids and cherish the time they have on earth with them.
<BLESSINGS>
